I've been thinking lately about religion,
it's something I don't understand and unfortunately(it really is
unfortunate at some times) "God" gave me a brain to analyse, think
and come to my own conclusions, not the ones written in "holy"
books which have been edited/rewritten so many times by powerful
people throughout history, let's not forget that not so long ago
tickets to heaven were being sold(i guess they ran out of space
nowadays :P )...
I consider anyone who follows anything blindly to
be a fool, we have a brain and we should use it... Just because
your parents, priests, friends, news, tv (so on...) say something,
it doesn't make it true, they, just as anyone else, are human and
can be wrong...
Now that I got that off my chest, I was wondering how hell would
look like from a programming perspective.
I Googled hell, and ended up going into wikipedia, from which I
quote "Revelation 20:10 (NIV) illustrates
Hell as a "lake with burning sulfure" "
From this information, I see that there will be a lot of burning
involved, therefore as a good programming habit, I create a method
and call it "burn", the method is unclear, should it return
anything? does it take any arguments? is it static(as in, a part of
hell)? Lets simplify for now and say public void burn()
Now I'm curious about a way out, I read a bit more in wikipedia
and found out that in
Christianity, I quote "As opposed to
the concept of Purgatory, damnation to Hell is considered final and
irreversible". Wow, that must suck!
Islam, I quote "The Qur'an also says
that some of those who are damned to hell are not damned forever,
but instead for an indefinite period of time" Hehe and all this
time I thought that Christiniaty was about forgiveness...
Chinese and Japanese religions, I
quote "The Chinese depiction of Hell doesn't necessarily mean a
long time suffering for those who enter Hell, nor does it mean that
person is bad. The Chinese view Hell as similar to a present day
passport or immigration control station. In a Chinese funeral, they
burn many Hell Bank Notes for the dead. With this Hell money, the
dead person can bribe the ruler of Hell, and spend the rest of the
money either in Hell or in Heaven." HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA i looooooooove
this!!!
In short, our main program should be like this,
Christianity, its an infinite loop, there's no way out! therefore:
while(true)
{
burn();
}
Islam, we need to specify a condition, since there "might" be a way
out, therefore:
boolean forgiven = false;
while(forgiven == false)
{
suffer(); // wtvr happens in Islamic hells, in heaven they get to
screw virgins, therefore i guess it's the opposite here...
begForgivness(); //beg for forgivness
}
In Japanese/Chinese hell, hehe well this one is a bit complex but
i'll give it a shot!
double hell_bank_notes = 0; //some people are
bastards and burn coins, even though they don't burn, we can't
underestimate the chinese!
boolean go_to_hell = true; //we're assuming
we're going straight to hell
if(isDead() == true && go_to_hell== true)
{
hell_bank_notes = getPocketMoney(); //hehe lets hope they burn
alot of money at your funeral!
while(isBribed() == false && bankrupt() == false)
{
bribe(); //bribe gives a dollar at a time so that we dont get
ripped off!
}
if(isBribed() == true)
{
heaven();
}
else //ur passport got rejected lol
{
hell();
}
}
Well thats the end of hell, now that we know how it looks like, we
should find a way to hack it and break the system before it's too
late :P
I've wasted 30 minutes of my life writing this so plz waste a
couple of minutes to comment or else you'll end up burning in
helllll buhahahahahaa lol!
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they'll take a picture of hell and post maps of it so that people don't get lost